The Millans

Denial

2010-11-16T20:35:00.000-08:00

I had a realization recently that really helped me understand that I am still in denial about Brooklyn. It really shocked me. I consider myself a pretty realistic person and of course I live with the reality of how Brooklyn's deficits match up to the real world everyday, so I was suprised at myself.
Brooklyn contracted bacterial meningitis at the age of seven. She was in the middle of second grade and was keeping up with her peers in class. To understand what a feat that is you must realize it took tremendous effort from me and many intinerant teachers, and therapists to get her there. We had worked so hard to get Brooklyn caught up to her peers. When she got sick she lost EVERYTHING. She almost lost her life. Everything her brain had learned about the world had to be relearned. She couldn't even see, because her brain couldn't process visual information! She was a newborn baby.
In November 2008 Brooklyn was evaluated and was determined to be at an eighteen-month to twenty-four-month age as far as cognitive function and reasoning were concerned. At her next in-depth evaluation in February 2010, she was at a four to five-year age level. My point is that I am very aware of her ability level, and yet I was still caught off guard.
At the start of Brooklyn's IEP last week, the teacher was saying that this meeting would be in effect until our next meeting in the spring and then we would have another meeting to transition to middle school. My heart stopped. In my mind I was thinking, "MIDDLE SCHOOL??!!! What??? My daughter is still in second grade". I was shocked to realize that somewhere in my coping mechanism I had been thinking that time had just stopped so that Brooklyn could catch up. Of course I didn't consciously think this. That of course makes no sense, however, when your daughter behaves like a preschooler it is easier to accept she is only a few grades behind. The reality is that Brooklyn is in fifth grade, and yes, next year will be in big, bad, middle school. My heart hurts thinking about this. Why can't time just slow down a little for her? Why is it just racing by while she stays stagnant? I hate it.
Of course there is hope, and I have to leave this post with a positive thought. She had made progress of more than 5 years in less than 3 years time. Her seizures have significantly hindered her progress the last year, however we have reason to hope that a new diet we have just started will offer relief and possibly the chance of reducing her many medications. So far we are hopeful. Hope is the only thing that helps me get my bearings and perhaps that is just another word for denial. Whatever you want to call it, it is what helps me push forward.

Stuart's Sixteenth Birthday Party

2010-11-14T08:58:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning and every muscle in my body aches! Yesterday I spent the day cleaning, decorating and preparing the house for Stuart's sixteenth birthday party. Brian had to work, so I had help from the kids and Stuart's friend, Malia, to help get everything ready. We strung up all of our Christmas icicle lights randomly all over the ceiling and I used some huge plastic, black, wall covering with stars to cover my concrete floor, (all from last year). We interspersed blue lights everywhere too. The kids played ping pong, listened to music, ate pizza and nachos and had marshmellows around the bonfire. I think it was a sucess! Stuart had fun and that is all that matters.
What I am happy about is that I was able to do the whole party for under $100 dollars! That is including everything! We are on a tight budget and so I had to stick to under $100 dollars. I am so exhasted today! ( Just another reminder that I am not anywhere close to sixteen anymore!)

My Graduation!

2010-06-12T20:50:00.000-07:00

I finally did it! It has been so hard! I have been going through the interpreter training program since 2008 and I finally finished.

Two years ago when Brooklyn was freshly out of the hospital I really needed something to bring me back to life. So I decided to go back to school, as an outlet for myself. I first night of class was the first time I left Brooklyn with Stuart since her hospital stay, but I thought it would be ok. I was late for school, got lost and had to walk in 20 minutes late. At the break I called home and eveything was ok. After class I had missed a message from Riverside County Sherriff saying they had Brooklyn! I called immediately and found out she had left home "looking for me" and lost her way. Some neighbors called the sherrif. Stuart thought she was upstairs the whole time. Needless to say, I felt like quitting the first day. I was so intimidated and didn't know anyone. I thought maybe I couldn't leave my family. But I didn't quit. The classes were very demanding and didn't really turn out to be an outlet at all, but it was good for me. I honestly think it forced me to be strong again.

For two years I have pushed forward, overcoming numerous obstacles. I had so many doubts along the way. Despite my doubts and insecurities, I got stright A's in all my classes. This last semester was by far the toughest. I had to complete 92 hours of intern interpreting hours, in addition to working and taking care of my family. It was rough, but I honestly can say the Lord was with me and thats why I was able to suceed. For some reason the Lord wants me to do this. I hope I can be of service to deaf people, but really, I just hope that I can be the best mother for Brooklyn that I can be and get her all the help I can. She is the reason for all of this. I am thankful I didn't quit, even though I was tempted so many times! I am thankful for my family's sacrifices and support! Yay! I did it!

Notice I am leaninf down? Brian was out and about in his wheelchair from his recent surgery.

Carmen and I. She's my work buddy and we helped eachother get though this last semester. We are the only ones in our class who are married with kids.

Brooklyn's room...in progress

2010-02-05T22:05:00.000-08:00

For those of you who know me, I have always liked home decorating. However, since moving to this house over two years ago, I haven't done much. Its a combination of less time, energy and money! However I do have great plans for the future whenever I can manage all those commodities at the same time.

This past January I finally got around to painting Brooklyn's room. Wow! What a difference compared to pasty, dull and dirty white builder's paint! I love this color, and the inspiration came from the print displayed on her dresser. I also tried using a"candlelight" paint in stripes over the base coat to make it look like wallpaper. When the light hits it right it looks really cool!
I bought that chandelier at an antique store over three years ago, and finally things are looking a little more cohesive. I plan to make a padded fabric headboard and a faux canopy from the ceiling with matching drapes. Like I said, just need the time, money and energy...

Anyway, here is the progress so far!

Reflection

2010-01-31T23:52:00.000-08:00

As we come into February I find myself being very reflective on the last two years since Brooklyn got sick. On February 27 it will have been two years. Sometimes when I look back on my life, I think that I never would have guessed I am who I am and I am where I am in my life. Life is so different from what you expect.
I finally am starting to feel more healed than not these days. The days of utter depression and crying are getting fewer and farther in between. I guess I am getting stronger. The anger has subsided now too. You know, when we found out Brooklyn was deaf we went to support groups and learned that parents go through the same stages of grief when they have a child with a disability as the stages of grief after a loved one dies. The first stage is shock, then denial, anger, etc... I don't have all of them memorized, but I finally feel I am coming out of anger stage onto acceptance. It feels good. I feel wiser and stronger because of it.
I was really angry for a long time. Not really at God, because I knew that wasn't right and felt guilty for that, and I couldn't be angry at Brooklyn, so I had a lot of undirected anger. I was angry that this had happened to my child who was already deaf. Seems so unfair.
What I have learned is that we all suffer from a notion that life is supposed to be easy and when it is not, we feel singled out, picked on. I have learned that life is not supposed to be easy, after all we are here for such a short time compared to our whole existence, and we have so much to learn. I guess I am accepting that more and more. I know it sounds depressing, but really its not. Its reassuring to know that everything has a purpose, and that God loves us and our trials are not because he doesn't love us. They are actually because He wants us to become more like Him.
I guess the Lord really wants me to be an expert at patience and long-suffering! Having a child with a disability is so challenging! It is also so rewarding. The simplest things are so cherished. I remember when Brooklyn said "I Love you" for the first time with spoken words. It was New Years Day, 2003. She was two and half. I will never forget it. Or how she used to say "Mop" when referring to me because she couldn't hear the ending "mmm" sound. I miss that so much.
But all is not lost, because now there are new things to be thankful for. She can eat!!! Yeah! She can walk, and run and ride a bike. She is toilet trained. She is here. And sometimes I need to remember what a gift that is.
Brooklyn still has seizures periodically. If she misses even one dose, she can have a three minute Grand Mal seizure. It's very frightening to see it happen and not be able to do anything about it. Well, Brian and I went to the movies last night to see "Extraordinary Measures" (good one by the way) and Stuart was supposed to give her her meds before bed. When we got home everyone was fast asleep in bed! What a great surprise! But at 1:30am Brooklyn was up and rustling around the house. She was trying to lay next to me, but was fussing and moving and playing that finally by 3:30 I was coherent enough to have the thought that she obviously did not get her meds because she was up. (One of her meds helps her brain sleep, without it she is awake all night). I got up and saw she wasn't in PJ's, dressed her, gave her meds, washed the icecream off her face from the previous day and waited for the medicine to kick in. At 4:15 I put her to bed and tried to go back to sleep. Well, I hate getting up in the middle of the night and I REALLY like my sleep, so I was kind of grouchy when the sun came up. But, you know what happened? Brooklyn came in and woke me up at around 8:00 with a PB&J sandwich on a plate for me that she had made by herself! I think she was trying to say thank you for helping her last night and she loves me. I was so touched. She really appreciates me! Wow. Those moments are so rare that I will treasure that little memory forever.
Well, sorry I am rambling. I just want anyone to know that reads this, that you are not alone if you feel that life is sometimes hard too.

Knott's Berry Farm

2010-01-29T20:12:00.000-08:00

Hello there! Is anyone there??? I haven't posted in so long! Well we finally got a camera again so I can post some pictures.
Just before Christmas we took the kids to Knotts Berry Farm for Fire and Law appreciation day. It was great! Brian and I got in free and the kids were only $15.oo each. We met up with Brian's old partner, Brian Murphy and his wife and son.
We were a little anxious about going to an amusement park with Brooklyn. We haven't been to one since Disneyland in 2007 when she was still in her wheelchair. Its always an ordeal to get Brooklyn to walk where you want her to and to stay by us and not run away. Think a deaf two-year-old with out a stroller! We managed ok. It was soon apparent that she could not wait in lines though. We just kept doing the kid swap thing so we could spare all the poeple around us in the lines. It wasn't great, but we managed and the kids had fun. I hope we can keep practicing taking her places and at some point it will be a totally enjoyable experience. For now we at least are trying.
We kind of tricked Carson into going on our first ride, Ghostrider. He was so scared that he started crying at the top of the hill! By then it was too late! He did fine though and at the end we all cheered for his bravery. He was proud of himself, but fom then on he refused all the big rides and preferred the little kid ones. Who could blame him!

Back when we went to Knott's when Carson was a baby we did one of those Old West pictures. Well, Brian had it planned that he would take one with his old partner with their real badges. I snuck a few pics of then as they posed. Then Stu wanted to get in on the act. I think Brian looks really mean!

School Days Update

2009-09-24T22:02:00.000-07:00

Well, I haven't posted in a while so here is the update:
Stuart is in his sophomore year at Lakeside Highschool. He has very long days. He goes to seminary at 6:30 and then straight to school all day and then football practice till 6 or 7 at night. Then as soon as he gets home he eats, and has homework and goes to bed. I feel so sorry for him sometimes. I feel it is too much for such a young man, but he insists on playing football and I insist on seminary so thats just the way it has to be for now. He is on JV football and also on the varsity team, so he has two games a week. As I write this it is 10:00pm and I am waiting for him to get back from an away game. Despite the long days he is adjusting better to highschool so far this year. His grades are much better and he even has A's in Chemistry and World History! We are holding our breath and hope it lasts. This is better than he has ever done as far as grades go.
Jackson is doing great at school as far as we can tell. Its hard to get him to talk about anything. He just likes solitude. But we force him to pay attention to us and give us feedback as much as we can. He has been complaining about being in the school band and so I finally relented and let him switch out. He really wanted to go to drama, and frankly I didn't think it was a good idea. Jackson really struggles with stuttering and being outgoing and social is not really his thing, but he insisted and so far is loving it! I am pleasantly surprised. Maybe this is just what he needs! We'll see if anything becomes of that. Jackson of course had all A's and has the highest grade in his math class. He usually gets his homework done before he even gets home! Its great. He just turned 12 last week and had a sleep-over watching "Goosebumps" movies all night. The boys had fun. He will be getting the priesthood this coming Sunday. He doesn't really seem to care, but he is definitely glad to be out of Primary.
Brooklyn has had quite some changes recently. We have made some medication changes and so far she hasn't had a seizure in a few weeks! Her interpreter emails me everyday about her progress, and he reports much improvement in her attentiveness and signing. I am very encouraged by what I see at home too. She attends to tasks longer, initiates conversation and can reciprocate a conversation as well. Her signing is still only one or two signs strung together, but more is emerging. She actually watches TV now! Before she could'n't even pay attention long enough to one thing to sit and watch, but now she does. It is so nice and gives me a little breathing room! We really struggle when it is time for her daily chores though, such as taking her medicine, brushing her teeth and hair, getting dressed etc. It is very frustrating! She has made me late to work on a few occasions because she just refuses to do these things. She has a sticker chart and we are trying lots of positive reinforcement, but it really just depends on her moods. Over all I see quite an awakening in her countenance. We feel very hopeful for the future.
Carson is my little helper boy recently. I have told him he has to be the model for good behavior for Brooklyn. I use him as an example alot. He has a sticker chart and is so diligent about his daily jobs. He gets two dollars on Saturday if his charts are full. He really likes this system. He is doing well in school, however first grade is a big adjustment from Kindergarten. He has lots of homework every day and his day is longer as well. I am shocked at the first grade expectations! Daily homework is two pages (front and back) of math and writing spelling words, practicing his high frequency words, and reading for 20 minutes. It is alot, but he has adjusted and he now can do most of it all on his own without ay help.
Well there is the update. I am working about 24 hours a week and taking two classes as well. We all have to follow a very tight schedule to fit it all in. What is the most awesome is that Brian is working day watch and we can all be home together in the evenings. What a difference that has made in our family!

Brian's Dream Come True!

2009-08-02T23:45:00.000-07:00

I just have to brag a little for Brian. I am so proud of him. For six years he has been going through the interview process to become an LAPD motorcyle officer. As many of you know, Brian LOVES motorcyles. Once Brian gets his sights locked on a goal he does not give up until he "conquers" it (in his own words). Each time you interview for a position, you get ranked on a list according to your score. They only make a new list every 2 years. The first time he was ranked 100 something, I think. The next time it was 63, then this last November he ranked 36! We were so excited. He didn't make the cut for the first motor school this year, but he did for the second class. He started motor school on July 9. Out of seventeen LAPD officers only 3 graduated motor school. Brian was Top Gun of the class, including some other officers from other agencies! I am so proud of him. He said that motor school was the most stressful thing he has ever done in his life. They really put the officers through the grind, and there was no mercy. If you weren't up to par, then you were out. Their mentality was the instructors wanted to sleep at night feeling they only allow the best to be out there on the road so they can go home to their families. I of course appreciated that. I am so proud of Brian for persevering and conquering this goal of his. He is such an example to me of dedication and perseverence.
Brian got his Harley last Thursday and says its so much fun to go to work now. I think he is still in awe that he's really a motor officer. I wish I could post pictures, but we still don't have a camera! Too many other things on the list like school clothes and such!
I love my husband so much and am so proud of him!

Help please!

2009-08-01T10:47:00.000-07:00

Ughhh! I have tried to change this ugly background a million times! Why won't it change? Can anyone help me? I copy and paste the new background info under "add a gadget", but it never takes. What am I doing wrong?

Mammoth Camping Trip

2009-07-18T22:58:00.000-07:00

Brooklyn caught a fish too! She was so proud of herself!

Carson posing infront of the Minarets.

The boys in front of Mammoth Mountain. Can you beleive all that snow in June?

Stuarts pride and joy. He wanted us to pay to get it stuffed.. (yeah right!)

My fish looks bigger! I have to say I was pretty proud of it too!

We love to go up to Mammoth! We packed up and hauled our little fishing boat up to Convict Lake and Lake Mary for some good quality famliy time. We started at Convict Lake where the elevation is lower and its a little warmer at night. We knew rain was coming, but we decided to go anyway. The rain for sure came, and after that first night the boys all slept in the Expedition, leaving Brian, Brooklyn amd I to brave the cold wet nights! We survived and luckliy the sun came out eventually and we were able to dry everything out. We enjoyed riding our bikes and doing a lot of fishing!! After three days at Convict lake, we moved up to Lake Mary, our traditional fishing lake. Stuart caught the biggest fish he's ever caught! It was a 3.5 pound rainbow trout! I also caught a big one. It was 2.9 pounds. We caught a lot of fish and it was alot of fun and relaxation. Stuart loved getting up early and fishing all day. Jackson and Carson were bored with fishing and preferred to sit in the car and play game boy! I forced them out as much as I could, but apparently they really aren't the camping type. Brooklyn loved the freedom to be as dirty and care free as she wanted. I was happy as long as I got my camp shower! Of couse it was stressful for us as parents, but I think it was all worth it! We made some good memories.

I survived!

2009-06-08T09:24:00.000-07:00

I have not posted in a really long time! I really have not had a spare moment the past few months. Not to mention that Carson broke our digital camera, so I can't post any new pictures. These past few months have been a real growing experience for our whole family. I started working for the first time in 10 years this past January at Riverside Community College and then in February I started the Spring semester and took three classes at night. I know it was crazy and I knew it would be hard, but I am trying to finish the Interpreter Training Program at RCC and needed these classes in this specific semester. For the most part I was gone four days a week from morning to night. It was soooo difficult! I just constantly felt pulled in ten different directions. There were so many times I wanted to drop my classes, but I persevered and I made it through.
I said this was a growing expereince for our whole family and it was. With the year I had gone through with dealing with Brooklyn's hospitalization and caring for her when she came home, I was in the depths of depression. I had given everything I had in me to her and my family and somewhere I had lost who I was. Last fall I felt a strong impression to return to school and enter the Interpreter Program, even though I had never wanted to be an interpreter. Taking those classes saved me. I finally had an outlet and saw that I had something to give and I had talents to offer. It also got my mind off of the terrible tradgedy of losing the old Brooklyn, helped me move forward and put the past behind us. Starting to work was also something I really needed personally. There is so much frustration with dealing with Brooklyn that it can be very disheartening. Her progress is very slow and most of the time you don't know if your efforts make a difference at all. Having an outlet to help me feel like a success has really helped me be more patient with Brooklyn. With me out going to school and working it forced Brian and the kids to carry some of the burden of caring for the house and Brooklyn. I have always done it all and taken pride in doing it all, but it was killing me inside.
I love my husband so much. He really stepped up to the plate and has supported me in my efforts. Now we both share the responsibility of parenting like we never have before. He worries about who is picking up Carson from school or what to make for dinner just as much as I do. He does a load of laundry when it needs to be done, or helps with a school project when it comes. Not only do I have a greater love and appreciation for him, but the kids do too. As he cares for their needs more, they have come to know and love eachother more as well.
My children have really had to become more self-reliant. They get themselves off to school, make their own lunches and help care for Brooklyn and even know how to make dinner. While sometimes it would kill me to have to leave such responsibilites to my children to handle and potentially fail at, I know it was best for them. I realize what an enabler I have been.
So now the semester is over. I will still be working part-time during the summer to make ends meet, but I survived and so did my family. I think we are all better because of it too.

Why mothers need to get away

2009-02-12T15:13:00.000-08:00

For Christmas Brian bought me a plane ticket to go visit my little sister, Hannah, in Kentucky and to see my new niece Emma. I was so excited. Allison and I were supposed to go together, but with Cameron's surgery right before the trip, she couldn't get away. So I went by myself. It was SOOOOO cold. It was quite a novelty for me though, at least it was finally cold enough to wear some of my sweaters and boots that I can't really ever wear here in California.

I arrived at a pretty bad time, with most of Kentucky out of power, because of an ice storm. It didn't really bother me though, I was there to get a break from my motherly duties and spend time with Hannah and see little Emma! Oh yeah, Spencer too:) . (Hannah's husband) Hannah felt so bad because they had no power, but they had a generator for the heat, so we survived just fine. She got her power on the next day, so we didn't rough it for too long.
The scenery was so beautiful. With ice covering everything, it looked like crystal chandeliers. We went to a few sights, but most everything was closed because it was winter (go figure) or because of the ice storm. Hannah and I went to the Kentucky Ballet in Lexington, and I am sorry to say, it was hilariously bad. The dancers were skilled individually, but as a group their timing was terrible. Perhaps they were a little off kilter with the storm and lack of power in most the city too.
On Sunday, Emma was blessed in her beautiful gown that Hannah made herself. I am proud she has followed in her sisters footsteps with her sewing ingenuity! We had a nice evening with her in-laws that afternoon.

I was determined to see a plantation while I was there on Monday or Tuesday, but they were all closed, and it was freezing (getting to 17 degrees at night) so we mostly enjoyed talking up all the air (as Brian calls it) and doting on precious Emma. It was a wonderful and relaxing trip, and I am so glad that I had the opportunity to go.
Meanwhile, at home, Brian was following the carefully written script to a tee and when I called to check-in, he was so supportive in telling that everything was just great and not to worry (as I always do). Of course Stuart later told me how dad was cracking the whip and he personally had to do all the work!!! (Please remember Stuart is 14 and he thinks he always does all the work, so take that with a grain of salt)
But I think the most valuable result of the trip was Brian's validation of how hard my job is!!!! Yes that's right!!!! 15 years later, I finally get a little credit for all that I do and how hard it is to take care of everything with an absent partner. I also reminded Brian of all the things I took care of for him BEFORE the trip and AFTER as well. That validation was worth every penny and I think I will be taking a trip to visit Hannah at least once a year! Overall, it was wonderful and I am so thankful for Brian's support of me getting a week off. I love you Hannah and miss your little family already.

Brooklyn Update

2009-01-24T16:11:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was Brooklyn's IEP (Individual Education Plan) at her school and it went reasonably well. My goal was to get the district to refer Brooklyn to CSDR (California School for the Deaf at Riverside) and they were supportive, all except her teacher, who beleives that Brooklyn's other needs will not be addressed at CSDR. Brooklyn's class right now is for hearing students with multiple handicaps, and Brooklyn has an interpreter with her there. I am very excited that I didn't have to fight too much to get the district to see my side and support what I know is best for Brooklyn. CSDR will offer Brooklyn constant access to language, therefore, increasing Brooklyn's language. I have had to fight many battles with her schools in the past, and I have become a little battle weary as of late. So this is a good thing and now we can submit her application to have her transfered there.
We have been waiting months for Brooklyn's psychological assesments to be complete. Before Christmas she was fully evaluated and we discussed the results yesterday. The results were a little discouraging for me, because she is so low functioning compared to our old Brooklyn. This depresses me at times, so I try not to think about it. I try not to look back at what is lost and to focus on what I still have, which is a daughter that is still here with us that brings us much joy, just in a different way. I have heard it explained by people who live with a brain injury survivor that it is like the old person you knew died, and now you have to learn to get to know this new person. I can relate completely with that.
Ok, so enough of that. Here are some of the new improvements Brooklyn has made:
She can write her name again, with reminders as to where to put the "L".
She can read some words and the list grows a little each day.
She sets the table and loves to help me cook.
She loves to go to school and gets herself dressed all by herself in the morning.
She sits still in primary and loves to "read" her scriptures.
She can sign her own prayers now.
She can tell us in simple signs about an exciting event like "CARSON MONEY!" ( Carson got a dollar from the tooth fairy)
She is very aware of the family routine, and loves to be a part of it.
She is making progress all the time, and we have faith that she will continue to do so. Thank you everyone for your support!

What a great Christmas!

2008-12-29T13:50:00.000-08:00

Christmas was so great this year. We got to celebrate it three times with all our family. We had our Geyer family Christmas two weeks before Christmas when my brother Aaron and his family came from Idaho and my brother Jake and his family came from Virginia. It was wonderful to spend time with them and get to know my neice and nephews better.

On Christmas Eve it was just our own little family, and we made and frosted christmas cookies and got to open one present each. The kids were so excited to see that Santa had brought them an Xbox 360 for Christmas along with the Guitar Hero World Tour game, so the whole family could play. It was a blast! Carson and Jackson love drums, and Brooklyn and Stuart do Guitar. I like vocals myself. Brian does Bass guitar or vocals too. We had a great morning playing together. Brooklyn just loves Hannah Montana and got a Hannah wig, Mic and dance DVD. It was a riot to watch her do it. Later that day my parents, my brother Alex and his new wife, Shauna, and my sister Allison and her family all came for Christmas dinner. It was so great to have it at our house this year. Brian and I both agreed that it was great to not have to drive anywhere for the holidays.

And last, but not least, on the 27th, Brians mom Tami and step dad, and his brother and girlfriend came to visit. We enjoyed flying Carsons new kite and playing Guitar Hero with them too.

I think there was one big reason why Christmas was so wonderful this year. In the past, Christmas usually means a whole lot of stress and expectations, and it usually gets the best of me. I usually feel sickened by the commercialization and overwhelmed by the to-do list and list of traditions that I must carry on. The stress of how to pay for it all is too much too. But this year, I had the realization that the best thing about the Holidays is being with those we love, our family and friends. Since we have been through so much this year with almost losing Brooklyn and the stress of all her needs, I felt overwhelmed in gratitude that my family is still in tact for Christmas. It would have been very hard to celebrate without her with us. I know that there are many people out there who must carry on without those they love, and I know I came very close to being in that category too. I thank God we got another chance. And my heart aches for those who have not been as fortunate as we.

So it really was a very wonderful Christmas, and even though there was a little of all the other too, what really matters is that we got to see and spend time with all those we love the most. (Hannah I will see you soon!)

Thank you all for your love and friendship and Happy New Year!

Halloween 2008

2008-11-25T12:44:00.000-08:00

Here we are ready for Trick-or Treating! I decided to not dress-up and go as myself. Jackson was a vampire, Carson was a vampire in training and Brooklyn was Supergirl. She LOVED this costume. Its hard to hide it from her so she doesn't wear it everyday. Stuart was too cool to hang out with the Fam so he was with his friends Trick-or Treating.

My birthday new look!

2008-11-25T12:35:00.000-08:00

So for my 33rd birthday, I decided it was time for a change . So I cut off all my hair. I really love it. The goal was to look a little more mature, but Brian thinks I look even younger. Maybe he's just trying to cover his bases!

Ready for Thanksgiving

2008-11-25T11:48:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone! So I guess since my parents are going to get with this new thing called blogging, I will too. I don't really know what to do so we will see what happens!

The Millan family is getting ready to go visit Brian's family for Thanksgiving and the kids are all out of school. Brian is off too. It should be a great trip. We hope to have some nice downtime with family and relax.

I have my ASL-5 midterm tonight. I give a presentation in ASL on how Bacterial Meningitis relates to cochlear implants. Wish me luck!